Re: Jo

From: Jo Eslick (wallamara@hotmail.com)
Tue Dec 4 05:42:47 2001


Dear Lillian

Thank you for your lovely message, I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know how you feel.  I have to say that I learn from all of you each day, none of us can know it all, have all the answers and find support and understanding simply by asking or expecting it.  I must confess that when I first started to post messages on the board, I used my Guiding name (Like girl scouts, the leaders have a name, usually chosen for them by the girls in their troup or unit) it's Wallamara, an Aboriginal word for caring Mother/Leader. 

I was terrified that someone from my home town would come across this site, find my name and..... I just had this "thing" about not everyone knowing what was going on in my life.  Anyone who lives in a small or closely knit community will know what I mean.  After about a month of answering some of the posts, and asking some questions a saying that Shane's sweet grandmother used to live by "treat others as you yourself would like to be treated." kept running through my head....

I realised Lillian that I was being selfish and not acting in what I thought was the true spirit of the board.  SO I added my story to the quilt, and then after Helen Chalmers asked why my photo wasn't there, I added one.

Since then I have realised what a wonderful, warm, friendly and supporting group this is.  We have our occasional squabbles, but what healthy growing family doesn't?  Sometimes there are people who visit our board each day but don't post a message or a question for loads of reasons, they may be shy, they might have the fear that I descibed just above, some may be too ill to manage to answer questions, but draw strength, courage, receive invaluable experience and advice or simply enjoy some of the "patter" that simply evolves from someone's funny thought for the day.

My dad is a chronic pain sufferer too, and his pain is for different reasons to mine and he knows that it will be the pain that will probably end his life.  He is in a motorised wheel chair isn't supposed to walk, but like any stubborn man, he does what he wants!  :-)  Dad tries to find humour in everything, he reads out funny jokes, makes up some very strange but entertaining stories.  The most important thing for me has been the gift of him returning to Bathurst earlier this year.  My parents had lived interstate for almost 15 years and it has been a bitter sweet reunion, I say that because he can't do the things he always dreamed of one day doing with his grandkids.  He loves fishing and he loves fossicking & panning for gold.  He can't do these now.....BUT he hasn't given up, he still helps others if he can and he helped many many older people in the years he lived away from all of us.  He had wonderful loving and supportive friends, medical professionals who admire him and call him a friend.

My philosophy is as I said "treat others as you would like to be treated" or as I explained to a wonderful friend I help nurse in his last days on earth, what goes around comes around.  While I kept Nick company while his wife was at work, I knew that up on the sunshine coast of Queensland someone was looking after him.

I have him near me now, along with my mum, who I love and really missed all those years.  They can now be the Grandparents they always wanted to be.  Infact I sit here typing this (was supposed to be a short note...*sigh*  yes I'm a chatter box who can't shutup, it isn't in my nature!  LOL)our daughters are "camping" at their place tonight as we have been in Sydney today and knew that we wouldn't be home until late.  I will have my parents with us for Christmas for the first time in FIFTEEN years and I can't wait!

So Lillian, I just love to help, I enjoy meeting new people, enjoy finding out about theit culture and traditions.  You and all the other people on the board have loved, supported and been a friend to me since I arrived,  I feel so much better about my pain and how I deal with it, I tell all my doctors and therapists about you all and how much help you have given me.

I got some great news when I went to Sydney today, but I am really tired, so will fill everyone in about the details tomorrow, almost 5 hour trip home & arrived home a short time agao (it's 11:11pm Tuesday as I write this).... so thanks!  gosh I really DO talk to much don't I  rofl

Love & hugs Lillian I think I am behind...I think it was my turn to write an email back to you....will get onto that tomorrow too!  not checking spelling etc tonight, so ignore poor sentance structure and spelling....gunna need a really sharp editor for my book!  ahahaha

see ya

>From: Msvirgo9459@aol.com
>Reply-To: adhesions@adhesions.org
>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
>Subject: Jo
>Date: Mon, 3 Dec 2001 08:24:18 -0600
>
>Dearest Jo,
>If I were a concellor I don't think I could have come up with as great an
>Explanation as you have come up with . You have a wonderful gift here and I
>really appreciate that You are a part of this family. I even lie to my hubby
>about the way I feel most of the time but he sees through me. Why sit here
>and explain yourself over and over and over again when no one really
>understands this but me and my adhesion family. I just sit back and read
>these emails most of the time but You are an incredible friend and family
>member.
>With Much Love
>Lillian

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