As for your question about milk, I'm afraid you have discovered one of the things that affects reflux in a horrid way.  Shane has suffered with IBS & reflux for many years now and he avoids ice cream and milk etc like it's poison!  Occasionally he will have a small serving, but that is only if has been ages since he had any, he discovered by trial, discomfort & error which things caused the most problems.  I have never been able to find a suitable substitute for him, coffee is another thing he avoids because that gives him a really bad dose of reflux.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.. I do have a suggestion for you, because after 12 months of chinese herbal therapy Shane can tolerate most of his favourite foods again if he is careful and we spread them out between days of eating just the foods that don't cause him any problems.  The herbals were made up specifically for him, each week he would visit his herbal therapist.(he studied in China & his mother his still treating patients in China, Gordon has also been trained in western medicine too, & knows which herbs are incompatible with any western medication his patients may be on)  This wonderful gentleman would ask Shane questions, check his pulse & blood flow (blood flow is a key element in diagnosis in Traditional Chinese medicine) he would also look at his tongue and then put together his herbal formula for the week.  Each day Shane would brew his "tea" and I must say what a stinker!  LOL  BUT it made a difference to Shane's health and for that I will be always grateful. 

If you decide to persue this type of treatment be careful that the person you consult is properley qualified and has a lot of experience.  You don't want someone who has completed a six week course & then considers themselves an expert!  The herbals should be individual ingrediants, such as bark, dried plant roots, seeds etc.  It looks like something you would use as mulch, BUT I say again it does work, Shanes organs had started to shut down, his pancreas didn't work and he could barely eat any food at all.  Once he started the herbals within two months he had stopped taking all western medication and was able to increase the size of his meals and the variety of foods he could tolerate increased too.

So Lin, there you are!  I would suggest that if you are only experiencing reflux with dairy products at the moment, that you heed your body's signals and avoid dairy products.

Love & warm gentle hugs

Jo