Dear Kelley, 
I have three teenagers, and even though they are all girls I understand what you are dealing with at the moment. Teenagers are a strange breed who overtake our beautiful children bodies and become a hideous creature who thinks that the whole world owes them complete and utter attention, there is no person more important than Miss G or Master B.
Our children are very attuned to family difficulties and illness and instead of coming to mum or dad, they will discuss it with friends or sometimes the parent of one of their friends. Younger children are also affected and their out of character behavior can be very draining and makes us become a little less tolerant of their demands for attention.
I find that teenagers are normally non responsive, moody and very judgmental. My eldest daughter really worries about me and my illness and numerous surgeries, she hates to visit me in hospital and tends to keep all her concern bottled up. As for doing chores, well sometimes she will, sometimes she won't. If there is something she really wants to do with her friends, or she has seen something downtown that she wants, THEN she might half heartedly do a few extra things to get either money or the permission to go to a party or whatever.
My next daughter is 14 and she is a totally different personality and has different problems in dealing with my illness. She tends to get sick often so that she can stay home and will complain about all sorts of little pains and aches etc.... she seeks comfort by using illness having seen Shane & I fuss over each other during various bouts of this or that.
My 13 yr old daughter is the second mother of the house, she is very capable and cleans the house almost as good as me but tends to get a little bossy with her sisters and has a very hot quick temper and she acts without thinking.
My youngest daughter is 9yrs and is VERY demanding. Green is her favourite colour (and the colour of envy & jealousy ... which she has in abundance!). Very persistant and often gets her way by persisting and coming back again & again until Shane I give in! LOL
There are times when they all have very strong opinions on how we do things, look after them and they feel insecure because my husband was VERY ill for a few years and we had thought that he was dying. Then on top of that I had a hysterectomy and was in danger of loosing my life, I was taken back to theatre 5 days later. Then I had several minor procedures after that, then another major one in April. The older girls took that VERY hard and did get very moody & sullen, they didn't like to visit me in hospital because I would always look dreadful!
How I have changed this concern is to have little 5 minute "deep & meaningfuls", either in their bedroom or they come and sit on the bed with me & we read (youngest & I are reading Harry Potter ofcourse!) we also have journals. They will write a note, draw a picture make up a poem etc & then leave them on my bedside table giving me time to read it, and then write back to them. I give a bit of a story about how I am feeling and sometimes a write a little story about some of the things that I remember about them when they were little.
I guess you could try something like that with your son and as far as going out, is he interested in any sports? Why not take him to a local game... whether its a school team or adults involved in a social game. See if you can find somthig that you both like and join a team or have a go!
There must be something that you could both do together. How about inviting his friends over & have a casual BBQ in the back yard. Activities don;t have to be lengthy to make it work. Is their a local community information service where you can find out about interest groups etc? I find it a great way to find activities which involve the kids and teaching them something at the same time.
Well Kelley, my medication has kicked in I am getting very dizzy, hot, sick & my eyelids are very heavy I need to get some rest.
Love & gentle warm hugs to you and your daughter
Jo (Australia)