Jo is so right on. I just wish that I could put my feelings down on paper the way she does. That woman is so beautiful, but I know you already know that.
Being in pain is so frustrating! But, being in pain and knowing that you can't do a damn thing about it is even worse. Knowing that you have done everything in your power to change things and find some escape from the pain only to find out that nothing has changed....that is maddening. But, you are right. You can make yourself feel better...at least inside..by coming on this board and trying to prevent others from coming down the same road we did. That too can be frustrating because you see so many that don't listen...that go out and have one more surgery to stop their pain. But, you know that you have expended your energy to stop that....you have given your all. They have to learn for themselves. Believe me Helen, I know. Bev first came to me wanting to get me involved with the IAS and a local chapter. She told me not to have my surgery. But I insisted to her that I had to have this surgery. I had a hernia and the pain was so bad that I couldn't live with it. They also needed to repair my ureters because I was getting urosepsis and I couldn't let that continue on. So, I didn't listen to Bev. I went and had that surgery. Less than 2 months later I had another hernia in the same site...despite the fact that they had put several layers of mesh in. Oh, and about them fixing my ureters? Well, when the surgery was over and the nurse who handles people with urostomies came to see me she discovered that there was still urine backing up...the condition that leads to my getting urosepsis. So, the surgery was for not. And the pain? It was the worst pain I have ever had. Today that hernia is the size of a big football and the bowel is pushed up against my skin since the muscle is gone. And I live with urosepsis all the time...and its destroying my kidneys. You know the rest of the story...I don't need to tell you or to depress you more. But, what I am attempting to tell you is that we all made those same choices...even when people told us not to. All we can do is come back to this board day in and day out...as we can....and try to get the word out. Eventually we all come to realize that surgery isn't the answer. We learn that we have to stand up and insist on receiving proper pain management. Something I learned from you, Helen.
Helen, you are a beautiful woman...inside and out. That beauty is needed here on this board. We all wish that we could find a cure to bring this to an end. To me, a cure would be stopping people from having more unnecessary surgeries. We can live through the pain....we must.
Love you, Karla
>----- Original Message -----
From: "Wally" <wallamara@hotmail.com>
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Monday, November 26, 2001 4:19 AM
Subject: Hell-yun
> Dear Helly
>
> Listen my friend, you have a job to do on this site, and that is to stop
> other women from following in our footsteps, or help others who have
> gone further realise what they are doing is making things worse. Just
> by visiting this site each day, answering a few of the posts we are not
> only helping others mt dear friend... we are helping ourselves!
>
> I know you read the story I posted about Dad's roses, but I didn't tell
> you all his problems....
>
> Dad has little to no circulation in his legs, we are waiting for
> gangreen to set in, not they can't be amputated because he wouldn't
> survive the operation because of his heart condition. His spine is
> disintergrating and he has to wear a neck brace, he is confined to a
> motorised wheel chair and takes oxycodone & oxycontin which has little
> affect on his pain. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, high
> colesterol and he is overweight! He has stomach acid problems from all
> the medications and takes medicine to counteract the side affects which
> were prescribed to counteract the side affects.... have you got the
> picture?
>
> Yet, when Shane & I visited him the other day, he got pleasure from our
> visit, laughed at our gentle teasing and enjoyed a joke that I
> printed... it was one that one of the girls here on the board sent me.
> He told me about the beauty of the vase of roses sitting on the chest of
> drawers in his bedroom, my youngest daughter had put them there, so he
> would have something beautiful to look at.
>
> He isn't perfect Helen, he has his warts, and we have our "problems" BUT
> he is my dad & I love him despite it all, I also admire him because no
> matter how bad his pain is, or how sick he is, he is looking for a joke,
> a moment of laughter & this stubborn old bugger isn't going to give up
> his wavering grip on life.
>
> He says it's ok to feel sorry for ourselves, to feel that we haven't
> improved at all, it's ok to feel like we have let the kids down, haven't
> managed to get the house cleaned the way we wanted it, he said just be
> proud of your kids, and look at the beauty in this vase of flowers, this
> is living....
>
> I read all of your posts here Helen, I can see the beautiful glow around
> your soul, you have achieved something this year, you are a little
> better and do you know why? Because you have shown your fellow adhesions
> sufferers compassion, you have hugged and loved us, laughed and cried
> with us... you have achieved much this year Helen and most of all you
> have earned my respect, and I know that many of us here on the board
> feel the same way :-)
>
> So huge hugs, cuddles and chocolate filled love to you my friend,
>
> from Joey, the shorty from Oz! LOL
>
> --
> P.S. I'm not a doctor or medical person, just a fellow
> adhesions sufferer who really wants better treatment
> for us all.
>