>----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally Grigg" <lostcst@mcn.org>
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 03, 2001 4:50 PM
Subject: Great humor from Rose via Sally
>
> > The new priest.
> >
> > A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
> > speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The
> > monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on
> > the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I
> > start to get nervous, I take a sip."
> >
> > So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the
> > beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He
> > proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after
> > mass, he found the following note on his door:
> >
> > 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
> >
> > 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
> >
> > 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
> >
> > 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
> >
> > 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
> >
> > 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
> >
> > 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
> > Junior, and the Spook.
> >
> > 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
> >
> > 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey,
> > don't say he was stoned off his ass.
> >
> > 10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
> >
> > 11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take
> > this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."
> >
> > 12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the
> > Cherry".
> >
> > 13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub,
> > thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally...
> >
> > 14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at
> > St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
>