Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark......
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover....
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is how long will it be before I can expect light?.....Meow!
>----- Original Message -----
From: To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
Sent: 9/7/2001 5:46:41 AM
Subject: Funnies for women
** Woman about Woman **
-----------------------
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. [Helen -----------------------
-- ----------------------- Hayes,at 73]
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows.
[Janette Barber]
Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think
I'm
supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. [Jan
King]
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
[Carrie
Snow]
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
[Rhonda Hansome]
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts
falling apart. [Caryn Leschen]
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
once. [Jennifer Unlimited]
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning. [Catherine Aird]
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb,
and I'm also not blonde. [Dolly Parton]
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart
woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]
If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [Sue
Grafton]
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne
Barr]
I think - therefore I'm single. [Lizz Winstead]
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another
country. [Elayne Boosler]
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. [Maryon Pearson]
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career. [Gloria Steinem]
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home
which
answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every
morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes
home late every night. [Marie Corelli]
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor]
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. [Eleanor
Roosevelt]
to the unsubscribe form at http://www.adhesions.org/forums/listcmds.htm
i think of them as stray
eyebrows.
[janette barber]
whoever thought up the word "mammogram"? every time i hear it, i think
i'm
supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. [jan
king]
a male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
[carrie
snow]
a man's got to do what a man's got to do. a woman must do what he can't.
[rhonda hansome]
thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts
falling apart. [caryn leschen]
i try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
once. [jennifer unlimited]
if you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning. [catherine aird]
i'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because i know i'm not
dumb,
and i'm also not blonde. [dolly parton]
you see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart
woman with a dumb guy. [erica jong]
if high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [sue
grafton]
i'm not going to vacuum 'til sears makes one you can ride on. [roseanne
barr]
i think - therefore i'm single. [lizz winstead]
when women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. men invade
another
country. [elayne boosler]
behind every successful man is a surprised woman. [maryon pearson]
i have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career. [gloria steinem]
i never married because there was no need. i have three pets at home
which
answer the same purpose as a husband. i have a dog that growls every
morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes
home late every night. [marie corelli]
i am a marvelous housekeeper. every time i leave a man i keep his
house.
zsa zsa gabor]
nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. [eleanor
roosevelt]
to remove yourself from the adhesions@adhesions.org mailing list please go
to the unsubscribe form at http://www.adhesions.org/forums/listcmds.htm
--- Lori
--- "Thanks, I won't be needing your help today", God.