I went to Chicago for my follow-up appointment last Thursday. On Friday morning I had emergency surgery to remove the skin expander that they had placed a month earlier. Apparently, my body rejected the foreign substance and it became exposed creating all the increased pain which I had been experiencing. When I woke from the surgery I felt so much relief....the pain was gone and since they had left the wound open I didn't even have incisional pain. My surgeon indicates that he will allow the area to heal before he tries placing the expander again....and I guess I will give it one more opportunity. They don't know why I rejected it...but should I begin to have the same pain the expander will come out. It will then be time for me to realize that I have done all that I can do. I have tried all methods available to me and if this fails I must accept this as my fate. Many of you have been forced to accept your fate with the adhesions....I just thought that somehow I would be able to get to that point with mine...not be stopped short knowing that one way or another I will die. If this next attempt fails it will truly be time to place my life in the hands of the Lord. I suspect that it will only be then that I have peace.
Please understand, it is not me giving up......I have fought so hard for solutions. It is just time for me to accept that perhaps there are no "answers" for me other than letting go and letting God.
That doesn't mean I stop fighting ARD.....We all need to fight this disease. It just means that I accept that there are no answers or solutions.....at this time. But together we must still fight so that perhaps there are answers for our children and our grandchildren....if not for us.
Love,
-- Karla>----- Original Message ----- From: "Janet K." <janet7k@aol.com> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com> Sent: Wednesday, September 05, 2001 12:29 AM Subject: yoga and meditation
> Hi everyone, > > I wanted to share with you a couple of new things that I am trying that > somebody here might find helpful. As some of you know, I had very high > hopes after my most recent surgery March '99 but weeks later found the > dreaded symptoms of ARD returning. > > I am 33 and have had 3 surgeries in the last 2 years so right now > another surgery is not an option. I am however interested in Intergel, > and will maybe give that a go once it is available in the U.S.(I am told > January 2002, if political obstacles don't interfere). > > Helen D. has posted in the past about the body-mind connection and > alternative healthcares, and over the past few years I have tried may > things myself to control my symptoms. > > Lately, I have found alot of relief with yoga and meditation. It is not > pain relief, but relief from pain. I am taking Oxycontin 40-60mg daily > still. What has lifted and changed though is my mental state and > ability to handle the pain and symptoms. I find they both add peace and > happiness to my life by creating space between ARD and me...and this in > itself has given me tremendous relief and helped me feel strong inside > and out again. > > Nothing else has really changed...my BM's, early satiation after eating, > pain, bladder emptying problems, and the list goes on...but I am feeling > great on the inside in spite of all of this. For those of you that are > open to trying new things or alternatife healthcare/lifestyles, i hope > that you might try these. > > I am doing the meditation daily and yoga class twice a week(I cannot do > all of the poses and that's okay!). > > I hope someone out there will find this helpful. > > Love and hugs to you all, > > Janet >