True cute Dr. stories

From: Gloria (gpierson@nemontel.net)
Sat Sep 1 17:24:24 2001


A man came running into the ER and yelled, "My wife is going to have her baby in the cab!"

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one.

-------------------------------------------------------------

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope ------------------------------------------------------------- on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's

--
-------------------------------------------------------------
    anterior chest wall.

"Big breaths," I instructed.

"Yes, they used to be," the patient said wistfully.

---------------------------------------------------------------

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told --------------------------------------------------------------- a wife that her husband had died of a massive --------------------------------------------------------------- myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

------------------------------------------------------------------

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with ------------------------------------------------------------------ his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was ------------------------------------------------------------------ having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see; the man had over fifty patches on his body.

Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. (And you always wondered why instructions always seemed to state the obvious!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I -------------------------------------------------------------------- asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" -------------------------------------------------------------------- After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years, when my husband was alive."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the --------------------------------------------------------------------- pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it work?" "Yes," he answered. "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked. "I can if I take two," he answered.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally: -----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------- A 92-year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Several weeks later, when the old man had an appointment with the doctor again, the doc said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc, 'Get a hot mama and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."


Enter keywords:
Returns per screen: Require all keywords: