Re: THANKS LYNDA!!

From: Ginny Halpern (gingin99@home.com)
Tue Jun 19 15:23:54 2001


Lynda

THANKS FOR THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE READ IN WEEKS! It's so true!

I read another similar group of funnies and especially liked the one "New and Improved" on a product.

How can something be "new" and also " improved" ?? If it's a brand new product, who can tell if it needs to be improved? Thanks again!

Ginny

At Tue, 19 Jun 2001, Lgapmon@aol.com wrote: >
>Now remember not to LOL (Laugh Out Loud) because that hurts...over here it's
>what, SMK? (Slap My Knee) Hope this helps to cheer you up Colette.
>
>Love,
>
>Lynda M. in AZ
>~~~~~
>Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as
>possible.
>
>These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:
>
>On Sears hairdryer:
>Do not use while sleeping.
>(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
>
>On a bag of Fritos:
>You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
>(The shoplifter special?)
>
>On a bar of Dial soap:
>Directions: Use like regular soap.
>(and that would be how?)
>
>On some Swann frozen dinners:
>Serving suggestion: Defrost.
>(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
>
>On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
>Fits one head.
>(Ahhhhh....OK...'nuff said....)
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
>Do not turn upside down.
>(Too late! You lose!)
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
>Product will be hot after heating.
>(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
>Do not iron clothes on body.
>(But wouldn't that save more time?)
>(Whose body?)
>
>On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
>Do not drive car or operate machinery.
>(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept
>those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
>
>On Nytol sleep aid:
>Warning: may cause drowsiness.
>(One would hope!)
>
>On a Korean kitchen knife:
>Warning: keep out of children.
>(or pets! What's for dinner?)
>
>On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
>For indoor or outdoor use only.
>(As opposed to use in outer space?)
>
>On a Japanese food processor:
>Not to be used for the other use.
>(Now I'm curious!!)
>
>On Sainsbury's peanuts:
>Warning: contains nuts.
>(but no peas?)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
>(have a lobotomy)
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw:
>Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
>(What is this, a home castration kit?)
>
>On a child's Superman costume:
>Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
>(That's right, destroy a universX-Mozilla!!)
>
>On a Wet-Nap
>
>Instructions: Open Wet-Nap. Unfold Wet-Nap. Use Wet-Nap
>(Now where would I be without that third crucial step.
>I was just opening, unfolding and throwing away!)
>
>****************************************************************************
>
>--

>****************************************************************************
>


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