Re: cleaning (panic) attack, Liesel

From: Janet Karam (jkaram4@home.com)
Sat Jun 2 10:45:18 2001


Dear Lynda,

Oh, how I know. It is not so much the physical aspect for me right now but the mental anguish, and all the what ifs and what will be's. I can't type long...Joel's parents are staying with us, but please know I love you...my heart hurt when I read your message.

Big hugs,

Janet

>----- Original Message -----
From: Lgapmon@aol.com To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com> Sent: Saturday, June 02, 2001 6:46 AM Subject: cleaning (panic) attack, Liesel

> OK, my lap was done April 24....had adhesions removed and organs
> rearranged...felt good for a few days, then had some minor pain creep back
> in...bearable though...
>
> The past few days, the pain has grown. I've gone into a major cleaning
> frenzy around here, to take my mind off it (denial)...also because I
haven't > been able to do much for the past few years, urgh, and much needed
doing...I > cleaned out the pantry completely and went through both boy's rooms --
> dressers and closets. The dining room table is buried under a mound of
> outgrown clothes to donate.
>
> Last night I could not sleep at all, it was awful. Two days ago I gave up
on > trying to manage without pain meds, and am on them again. Not the
narcotic > ones, although I probably should be. Not yet...
>
> Now I am shifting into panic because I don't know how long I will continue
to > feel *this* good, if I will end up as bad, or worse off, than before my
lap. > My right side is visibly swollen again, as it was before the lap. I
swear, I > honestly don't mind having some constant pain, but I cannot tolerate the
> thought of it becoming anything like it was again. Mostly because I know
> that will be the way it is from now on.
>
> As if that weren't enough, my old dog has had a tough few days too...yes,
she > is "just" a dog, but also the one who enabled me to meet so many wonderful
> people in the world of dogs...she launched my career as a trainer/breeder
> because she is so special and had so much ability. Liesel is a solid
black > German Shepherd Dog who is 12 1/2 years old, was the regional 1989
Obedience > Dog of the Year, won obedience titles with highest scores possible and
even > served as a temporary, certified assistance dog for a while as we trained
one > for a friend. (I used to train dogs for disabled people, now it looks as
> though I should train one for myself.) When I was on bed-rest for my
> pregnancies, Liesel picked up stuff for me. I know her days are numbered,
> she isn't young any more, but goodness, I will be a mess when she does go.
>
> Hubby is gone for the morning and the boys are still asleep...is it OK to
eat > Reese's for breakfast? I've half a bag of them.
>
> Hope you all are having a better morning and that the weekend is
wonderful, > pain-free and happy, for you --
>
> Love,
>
> Lynda M. in AZ
>


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