It does effect everyone in the house, as well as our extended families and our friends.
My 8 yr old is acting up really bad at the moment, and it's because for the last 6 mnths I have basically lived in my bedroom when my children are at home from school. I have started to let her sit on the bed with me in the evenings to watch TV, but I usually have to ask her to sit on the floor because she can't stop wriggling around on the bed.....and boy do I feel like the Princess and the pea!
I too have a wonderful husband, and we talked about how he understands and tolerates my illness. In our case, Shane was ill for a few years himself, to the point were we thought he was dying. I wasn't as tolerant of him, I had lived with pain for so long, I couldn't understand him letting it rule our lives. Everytime we had an outing planned with family & friends, he was too ill to join us at the last mimute, so we went alone. I would yell at him & say it was all in his head....how come he was ok a few hours before we were due to leave.
Now, he is well, and I'm the one who often can't join in on family outings, but Shane doesn't yell at me or resent my illness, he accepts and understands....he has been there. I was the one who needed a lesson....and what a lesson I am getting!
I love him VERY much, we celebrate 18 yrs of marriage this November and I love him more than the day I married him :-) It has been hard work, we have both made comprimises and we have to work on it daily, but we are together forever.
bye Jo
>From: Suze <suze63@one.net.au>
>Reply-To: adhesions@adhesions.org
>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
><adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
>Subject: Re: Friendship
>Date: Wed, 23 May 2001 19:54:19 -0500
>
>Dear Linda,
>Im sorry hes not for sale...LOL im going to hang onto this one!!
>But when i first got sick I wasnt with Gary and My husband and Broke up and
>im
>sure a lot of it was to do with me been sick he tried to be supporive but
>he
>really couldnt stand me not well and out working.
>But thats another story...LOL I now have Gary and he is the first to say he
>cant
>ever imagine the pain because he hasnt had a sick day in his life but he
>really
>is so supportive I couldnt ask for any more. You are also so right in
>saying we
>sure didnt ask for this either, Id gladly give mine away. I think also a
>lot of
>people forget we might have the pain but its our family and friends also
>suffer
>with us. I asked my 14 year old a couple of months ago when was the last
>time she
>could remember me been well, she looked at me and said I cant....she was
>about 4
>when I got sick. so it does effect the whole family.
>Hope you have a pain free day and something to smile about all day.
>Suze
>Lgapmon@aol.com wrote:
>
> > Hi Suze --
> >
> > Those poems were wonderful -- thanks for sharing them!
> >
> > BTW, where do I go to trade in my husband for one like yours, eh? <G>
> > Really, mine is a good guy...he just gets overwhelmed sometimes and does
>not
> > have the emotional savvy to deal with things. Sometimes he gets where
>he
> > wants OUT, and he has gone so far as to contact a lawyer before and
> > everything. That was right after my hyst...while he has learned better
>how
> > to cope now, it still is not easy. Most of the time he tries to
>understand
> > now, but he would rather have had a wife who didn't have pain problems.
>Gee,
> > I can't say that I blame him.
> >
> > BUT I didn't sign up for this either. I think it is REALLY hard for
>people
> > who have never had so much as a stubbed toe to imagine what it must be
>like
> > for us. Sometimes I think they believe we just like to whine. (May I
>have
> > some "geez" with that "whine?" lol) Especially people who are
>good-natured
> > but basically looking for an easy go of life. They don't realize
>depression
> > and pain are things that happen, that they are not entirely a choice.
>So I
> > make the best of it and look for the good in every day. Amazing how I
>always
> > find more than I expected, too. Never found a diamond ring but hey,
>stranger
> > things have happened! I'm happy for you that your hubby cares and can
>show
> > you in such a tangible, lovely way. :D
> >
> > Pain free hugs to you all!!
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Lynda M. in AZ
> >
>