Lgapmon@aol.com wrote:
> It hurts to see people frustrated and disappointed. :( I'm so sorry you
> feel that way, Colette, and others too whose frustration has driven them to
> leave.
>
> >From my experience on other lists, some of which are hobby groups or other
> health-related ones (hyster sisters et al), I have noticed there are always
> the "regular" posters. People who post often enough that they and others
> know their names, a little about them and other things in their life. These
> people are familiar with each other, warm and friendly.
>
> When someone starts posting as a newbie (new subscriber), it takes a little
> time for people to get accustomed to them...that doesn't mean the posts
> aren't being read or that a click is excluding someone, I don't think.
>
> If people are given a chance, and newbies are patient, I think they can
> easily become part of the "regular" group. Don't give up so quickly...what
> we say on another list, you can't make a difference from the outside. You
> can start your own board but wouldn't one strong group that has the
> visibility to reach a lot of people be more effective in the long run, more
> so than several smaller ones? Food for thought.
>
> Whatever the case, persevere if you want to affect positive
> changes...momentum is easier to gather from a crawl than from a standstill.
>
> On the other hand, maybe the regular posters could make newbies feel more
> welcome...I haven't been over here very long, so am not making a judgement --
> for all I know, there is a system in place to welcome new people. Do the
> regular posters offer even a brief "welcome to the site" message to newbies?
> Sometimes that is all it takes when you see a new e-mail address...a generic,
> "Welcome to the site, we care" message sent to someone can make their whole
> day.
>
> I recognize how busy, exhausted and crazy with pain many of us are so do not
> want to add to anyone's daily load by bringing this up. In the short time I
> have been over here I've heard a few people get upset that they weren't
> responded to, or that they were responded to in a manner different than what
> they expected. The written word is difficult, e-mail especially, because the
> tone of voice and facial expression are absent. People sometimes take things
> the wrong way, especially when we might be a little more sensitive
> emotionally because we are in physical pain. That happens to me...when I
> hurt, the emotional trigger becomes soooo easy to set off. Sometimes I take
> things wrong, or say them the wrong way. My intentions always are good, and
> I suspect those of others here are, as well.
>
> A few kind words and a little common courtesy go a long way towards creating
> good will.
>
> I know from my own experience, sometimes I am in too much pain to sit very
> long at the computer. When people e-mail me, I always try to respond within
> a few days but sometimes it takes a while longer. And if I see a post on the
> list, I might want to respond but find that I don't have the energy or time
> at that particular moment.
>
> Here I go, being bad at lurking again. Just thought I'd toss some thoughts
> out there. Mostly, let's try to believe the best about people...we all are
> here because we hurt, true, BUT more importantly, because we really do care.
>
> Hoping you all are having a splendid day!
>
> Love,
>
> Lynda M. in AZ
>