I was really glad to see a post from you ;-)) I hope you are coping ok.
I was married for many years, before being thrown back into the "dating scene". Boy, was I ever embarrassed of my body. Having a relationship with someone was ok, but baring it all, now there's a whole other story.
I did find that most men wouldn't even bat an eyelid. As you get older and wiser, you realise it's not about the exterior. Men scar too ;-)
I have the most wonderful partner now, whom I totally adore. He tells me he doesn't even notice them, but the reality of it, is that I do ;-) So, anything he says about them, wouldn't make any difference.
I remember when I was pregnant with my only son. I gained 36kgs, and lost it after his birth in four weeks. Leaving behind massive stretch marks.(Most of them an inch wide). I was very upset until my Doctor took me aside and started prodding them. I gritted my teeth. He told me he could fix those if I ever wanted to. That's all I needed. Even though my son "looks" like his father, I tell them I have the stretch marks to prove he's mine *giggle*, and I WAS given an option to save my vanity ;-)
The ARD and bowel operations, well I don't like the look of myself in the mirror. That's a fact. But dang I am such a great person. I am kind, caring and loving. I am funny, smart and a good Mum.
Basically, through liking my interior, I have accepted my exterior and appreciate that I'm still here to enjoy even the littlest of life's joys ;-)
So, chin up, I'm sure your love of the Lord will guide you to your perfect partner, as mine did ;-)
Your pain pal Trace xo
>----- Original Message -----
From: Karla
To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
Sent: Sunday, 15 April 2001 6:47 AM
Subject: Re: Scars ;-))
That was absolutely beautiful. I deal with the scar issue all the time. I have a huge scar running from the breastbone all the way down to the pubic bone...I have no belly button. They have used this particular scar a multiple of times. I also have a scar along the bikini line as well as several in other areas of my stomach and of course the urostomy. To top it off I have scars running on the sides of my legs from the knee up to the hip.
I have been divorced for 10 years now and have finally gotten to the point where I am ready to find a man and possibly start a relationship. But then I start to think just who would want me....all my scars....the urostomy bag always on my stomach.....who really would want me? I don't know if I have gotten over that yet...I think not....but I have come to the realization that the right guy is out there and God will make sure that I get nothing but the best.
Karla
> ----- Original Message -----
From: niko
To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
Sent: Thursday, April 12, 2001 4:37 AM
Subject: Scars ;-))
Hi Everyone ;-))
I read some of the emails and something occured to me. The problem we face with surgery is external as well as internal. Internally by far the most important to our existance, but externally was a hard thing for me to face too.
I remember after my first "vertical" laparatomy, the scar... (I call my extra bum crack) .. was difficult to come to terms with.
I know it sounds vain. And the most important thing is that I do get the chance to talk about this, but still, it's a form of deformation and I lost my self confidence over it.
Looking at myself in the mirror is a quick process for me. Flash Trace they call me LOL I don't like agonizing over it anymore, but it did take quite awhile to come to terms with my human road maps. I have a highway to paradise I tell my Nik *giggles*
So... here is a poem depicting the struggle with those "scars" that make us all unique. I know that No-one has a scar that looks like mine ;-)) It's me, and I just wanted to share that with y'all ;-))
Keep strong everyone ;-)) Your pain pal Trace xo
Tell me of your scars and how they make up what is you.
Tell me all your groovies;
say you want mine too.
Say you treasure having me
beyond the skies above.
Say that I'm the only one --
tell me of your love.
Tell me that no other half
could ever make you whole.
Tell me that you love me.
Say you want my soul.
Say that you have looked around
and I suit you just fine.
Say that you need look no more --
tell me you are mine.