I tried to submit this earlier today but there were some problems with the site:
I am so sorry to hear you are suffering. I had a similar experience with a ruptured appendix that went very wrong. I did not end up with a colostomy but the incision was open for 3 months and I needed visiting nurses to pack the wound and almost died from the infection. I returned to work as if nothing happened. Only then did I notice that I would cry for no reason, think about it constantly, be upset when I had to go to the hospital for other people, etc. My doctor compared it to being in a war and having post traumatic stress. I was able to find a great counselor and needed medication to get through it. I was still in pain after the surgery and the depression only made everything worse. I also felt it would have been better if I just didn't wake up one morning. Have you asked your doctor about therapy and medication? Since you can't get out, could they get someone to come see you? I don't know your financial situation, but I know universities in our area offer free counseling.
I know how endless the days can seem when it looks like there is no hope. Please take comfort in the fact that we have this site to get feedback and support from everyone. IAS saved my life last year and continues to help me.
I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Please keep posting messages. The support of this group is priceless.
Take care,
-- kathy L.