Re: no subject received Fri, 2 Feb 2001 13:36:34 -0600

From: jenny low (
Fri Feb 2 23:02:56 2001


I think all of us has probably thought about doing the same thing. But that is not the answer. Your family needs you. If you were to do this thing, it would only put more of a burden on your family. They would be the ones losing. I understand where you are coming from. I sit at home and my family takes care of me. I have been sitting at home. That gets depressing. I feel like my friends don't want to be around me because I feel bad. I don't know if that is the way they feel but I feel that way. SO I have decided I am going to try to get out of the house for a little while every once in a while. I went to my friends house yesterday. She told me that I could come hang out and her house on her couch with the heating pad. And I went to the movies tonight with my husband and out to eat. It may not be much but it seems to boost my spirits some and gets my mind off things. Maybe you should try this. You are a very valuable person to your family as well as to us on this list. I'm glad you shared your story. That is a hard thing to talk about but something that needs to be talked about. I think you will be a wonderful encouragement to others who are contemplating the same thing. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. And I am thankful you are still around!

Lots of love, Jenny

>From: "Terri Lynch" <>
>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
>Subject: no subject received Fri, 2 Feb 2001 13:36:34 -0600
>Date: Fri, 2 Feb 2001 13:38:58 -0600
>Hi everyone,
>I have sit here reading all the messages and I think all of us have felt
>like enough is enough and I can't take it anymore. I know that I would be
>the first one to admit it....I am a very compassionate person when it comes
>to others and I feel each and everyone's pain. I sit, lay, do anything to
>get comfortable. But then it seems that nothing works. I understand the
>sleepless nights the long waking hours and yet no relief. I guess I feel
>like Drs. degrade us make us feel less somehow and we except what they say
>as face value. Well for one I have stopped believing Drs. know all. Because
>if they did they would do more than what they do to help us. I guess I am
>angry today. I heard from social security this week and was denied. Just
>another thing to disappoint me and my family. I was refused because I have
>the capability to think and handle my affairs..what affairs..I haven't
>wrote a check in months except to the Drs. offices. I can't go shopping, I
>can't sit at my boys games and cheer them on, I can't make love to my
>husband, I can't drive my car(especially since I had them two minor fender
>benders a few months ago and Dewitt took away my keys) But yet I am able to
>earn a living. So after feeling like a failure on all them things I have
>really gotten to the point where it seems this is life and I have to live
>it....what fun.....I sit and think man, I sure must have done something bad
>in a past life to get all this on me...I mean all I wanted was a little
>money to help my husband. I sit here watching him work himself into a early
>grave. He doesn't take a day off. If he is at home he paces the floors
>worrying about how are we going to pay this or pay that..And then the
>stress that we went through a couple of weeks ago...I know what you mean
>when you say I am tired...I AM TIRED! I did something I shouldn't have a
>few days ago and really haven't told many about it. I feel ashamed of what
>I did. I was upset and tired of feeling like the troubles with everything
>was my fault and I was a failure. I sat down and wrote a letter to the ones
>I loved and basically said I was sorry but I was tired. Then I picked up
>some of my meds and took them. Thank God that I didn't take enough....I did
>black out and I broke my nose....I know now that that was wrong that I was
>better then that and I deserved better in life and my family deserved
>better then me cowering out on them...I would never do that again..but I
>know it was God that let me live...Please when anyone gets TIRED talk to
>someone and really reflect on how that giving up would be on your
>family...Please don't think I am a bad person for wanting to give up....I
>was TIRED...I lost track of the big picture...If I wouldn't have this
>disease my life would be great...but, because of it I have made friends
>that I will cherish for a life time. I have learned that when I am down
>they are there to lift me up......
>So to all if you ever feel like that talk.....we are not alone and that is
>a wonderful thing..we have others to take a little of the load and may have
>answers for you to help....
>Love and hugs to all

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