At Mon, 22 Jan 2001, Pascale Vlaun wrote:
>
>Hello,
>
>I have been busy the whole of last week to get my medical reports ready
>and I send an informative e-mail to Dr Korell in Germany, I am still
>waiting for his reply.
>I got everything in order with the insurance company, thank God for
>that, because I would not have been able to pay for this myself.
>But the weird thing is, now that I got a little hope for a better
>future
I am scared !
>Scared to go, scared for my future and scared for another surgery;all
>past surgeries ended up in complications and more surgeries.
I can totally relate to your fears and all the surgeries I had has also ended with more complications!
>My GYN in StMaarten and in Holland both think that a laparoscopy is not
>possible by me because of the massive adhesions on the abdominal wall.
>I am actually thinking of backing out and just learn to live with the
>pain.
>And that pain is getting more severe every day, my painmedication is so
>high right now (with still little relief )that I am walking around the
>whole day as if I am high on drugs.
>I know I would not be able to life like this much longer, but I am so
>scared of what will happen.
>And nobody around me seems to understand that !
>Everybody tells me to go for it and to have faith, and I just don't know
>anymore.
>
Try and search your heart to see what you think you should do because you are the only one who can make those type of decisions. I totally understand and have had alot of the same thoughts and feelings I have gotten to the point where I probably won't let anyone touch me until there is an obstruction but I am just so tired, angry and scared just like you so I don't know what I would do either.
Your in my thoughts and prayers brokenwing
>I just needed to get this out !
>
>With all my love and friendship,
>Pascale Vlaun
>St Maarten
-- Pain-Free Hugs Brokenwing