Could've / Should'ves...and...What Some Doctors Say...

From: Helen Dynda (olddad66@runestone.net)
Fri Dec 22 09:49:55 2000


I received "What Some Doctors Say..." from an email friend; and I have posted it before; but I decided to add it to Mary Wade's list of: "could've / should've".......

BUT, first I would like to share the following with all of you:

I received an email from a pediatrician in which he told me that his mother was suffering from adhesions; and he asked me to send him information about adhesions. Among the information which I sent to him, I included the list ( below ) of "What Some Doctors Say, And What They May Be Really Thinking." Needless to say, he was not too happy about receiving the following list; and chastised me for sending this list to him!!

I know that there are MANY excellent doctors/surgeons throughout the USA...as well as throughout the world!! BUT the following items are NOT intended to reflect on them...BUT are for the many doctors/surgeons, who have said one thing...and really meant another thing at the expense of their patients!!!

[]]]] WHAT "SOME" DOCTORS SAY, AND WHAT THEY MAY BE REALLY THINKING:

1.) "This should be taken care of right away."

( I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month; but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. )

~ ~ ~ ~

2.) "There's alot of that going around."

( That's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this. )

~ ~ ~ ~

3.) "Well, what have we here...?"

( He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. )

~ ~ ~ ~

4.) "Let me check your medical history."

( I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you. )

~ ~ ~ ~

5.) "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."

( I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time --OR -- I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit. )

~ ~ ~ ~

6.) "We have some good news and some bad news."

( The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it. )

~ ~ ~ ~

7.) "Let's see how it develops."

( Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured. )

~ ~ ~ ~

8.) "Let me schedule you for some tests."

( I have a forty percent interest in the lab. )

~ ~ ~ ~

9.) "I'd like to have my associate look at you."

( He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle. )

~ ~ ~ ~

10.) "I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

( I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig. )

~ ~ ~ ~

11.) "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

( I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself. )

~ ~ ~ ~

12.) "That's quite a nasty looking wound."

( I think I'm going to throw up. )

~ ~ ~ ~

13.) "This may smart a little."

( Last week two patients bit off their tongues. )

~ ~ ~ ~

14.) "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"

( I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here? )

~ ~ ~ ~

15.) "This should fix you up."

( The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. )

~ ~ ~ ~

16.) "Everything seems to be normal."

( Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all. )

~ ~ ~ ~

17.) "I'd like to run some more tests."

( I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. )

~ ~ ~ ~

18.) "Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"

( You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ... )

~ ~ ~ ~

19.) "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."

( I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank goodness I'm off next week. )

~ ~ ~ ~


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