> I have often seen on this board, and have felt within myself, the battering
> that our spiritual selves take through all this. I personally have found
> the most comfort, not in seeking or finding the answer to "why me?", but in
> the knowledge that "it rains on the good and the evil." This changes the
> question at the level of my spirit to "why NOT me?" That, for me, has been
> an easier question with which to deal.
I have to agree with Mary that asking "Why" is usually a futile question. Instead, I find it more helpful to ask "How." How can I cope with this new problem, what can I do to make life easier or just keep on living the best way I can?
I've had MS most of my adult life and have been diagnosed with cancer four different times. Asking if I did something wrong only leads to guilt and depression. Asking if the doctor or the world did something wrong leads to anger.
I've had too much anger and depression! They only make me feel worse.
I will say, having lived with chronic illness a long time, that the pain of adhesion can be more difficult than some of the more life- threatening diseases. It goes on and on without ways to move ahead and DO SOMETHING! Many of my coping strategies failed over the past few months when pain just nibbled away at my energy and my ability to stay interested in things.
I found that the pain responded best to rest, as did the infection that followed my surgery. So I made myself a nest in my dad's recliner, read, watched TV, wrote a little, and listened to music. I spent a lot of time just daydreaming.
This was my "how."
I am now at a point where I will not return to the very active life I led for many years, even with the MS and the first cancer treatments. I have a whole new set of coping skills to learn. But anger and depression make coping so much harder -- I've learned not to ask the questions that mire me in their goo.
Love to all,
Kate
-- Kate Murphy katemm@mindspring.com