Re: quality of life

Mon Mar 6 10:23:34 2000

Oh my dear Toni!!! See all, SOMEBODY always has it worse than you somewhere. I know prayers may be a little late for your mother (I lost mine two years ago) and the pain will be with you a long time and you WILL have to face them one day, but put that all aside for now and lets work on building YOU up for the challenge coming. Remember this if you remember nothing else WE ARE ALL IN YOUR CORNER, FIGHTING FOR YOU, PRAYING WITH AND FOR YOU, LOVING YOU, BELIEVING ENOUGH FOR YOU. If you need it, cut this up and put it in your wallet and take it out whenever you need to feel us close to you. Feel our warmth in your hands as we pray that you feel calm and peace; ready for whatever the doctor tells you that is RIGHT FOR YOU and no one else BUT you. We want what is best for you and we will not deal with the dark side of this -- you know that we all will walk down this road someday (talking about the bowel obstruction queens, me included, I know for a fact that I have a partial obstruction but I am NOT going to have those stupid tests (upper GI series) knowing that they show nothing) but, we prolong it as long as possible. Speaking for myself now Toni, I wish I could come there right now and put my arms around you and tell you that everything will be okay, since that is not possible, know that I am holding you whenever you feel the need -- I know this because I have someone that holds me even when she is not there, and there are plenty of times when I hurt so bad that all I want to do is crawl under my desk, lie there in a fetal position and cry myself to sleep.

Take care Toni, and write whenever you need me. Your friend for life, Laura N.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: []
> Sent: Friday, March 03, 2000 7:16 PM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
> Subject: quality of life
> I am like alot of you later, trying to understand the different kinds of
> pain we are suffering from. And on top of all of that I have every dr I
> go to tell me something different. My gyn is the one who listens, my
> pcp pats me on the back before I leave, and says "Hope you feel better",
> the GI drs ay that trazadone and oxycontin are very costipating, I
> should not take it. And the pain drs tell me I would be ALOT worse if I
> stop it.
> My stomach is ALWAYS upset, but I do not vomit, I get a terrible
> pressure when I wait to many days to have BM, and I burp to the point
> where the pain is all over the chest too. I am SO tired of all these
> feelings, and my weight keeps going down, it is to the point where I
> hide from my father, my moyher was only 80lbs, when she got sick.
> And on top of all this, the girls all knew 2 years ago, on the obgyn
> forum My mother was diagnosed with the flu, 10 days she laid in bed, she
> NEVER actully vomited, bit she had diarreha. when she woke up the tenth
> day she was doubled over in oain, and she went to her pcp dr, and he
> pushed on her belly, and said he heard the flu itn her stomach, well
> excuse me, my father called me that SAME night and said he could not BM,
> and that she was moaning in the bathroom, and he went to get her a
> enema. When he got home she had passed out in the locked bathroom dr.
> She was ou tfor sometime,as long as he took to get her the enema. HE
> called 911, and the revived her, but when I got to the hospital, she
> looked like she had a stroke. She looked 90 years old in 45 minutes, it
> was a nightmare.
> They took her an operated on her, 4 hour, he came out and told us she
> had bleeding ulcers, and he took care of that but something seius had
> happened, and he wanted to know if we wanted him to go back in. Her
> bowel had died, and gangrene had set in. We said to try to save her.
> They operated on her 6 hours on Sat. night midnight, till 6 AM< closed
> her till noon on Sunday morning, and went back in, by then she was on
> the ventilator, they almost lost her 6 hours AGAIN! They kept removing
> parts of the bowel, The last surgery was Monday morning at 10 AM, they
> were in and out for SEVEN hours, my father and I thought he could save
> her. They finally were done with all surgery, and said her chances were
> 50/50! If she lived she wqould be on feeding tubes.
> Well 8 hours later she had died, that is such a BAD subject when your
> mother died like this. 21 hours of surgery in barely 3 days, and her
> heart kept up. I miss her so bad, God I am so sorry I made this so
> long. This is why I am so fearful of all this!
> I am suffering!
> Toni

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