I do understand the desperation that you feel. It is your life, you know what you can tolerate/live with and what you can't. But I am not sure I understand why this surgery for you is going to be different from the others. You mention the humiliation of everything else. I'm not sure I understand what is causing you humiliation.
Are you having to have surgery for abdominal hernias? If so, you really don't have much choice but to have the hernias repaired. They can be life-threatening, so it would be much better for you to have the surgery before it becomes a life threatening surgical event. So I certainly do understand and would probably do the same thing if I were in your shoes. I do not have hernias as a problem. I know that adhesions can cause obstructions which can be life-threatening, but statistics show that a person can have adhesions for very long periods of time before an obstruction will occur. (17 years was the last statistic I saw). But hernias, are a horse of a different color.
I wish you the best, keep us all up to date on your situation. We will all be anxious to hear how you do, and pray that no more hernias occur!